Dear Natalie and Sophia,
This may be of use when you get older, but this letter in particular is just for me right now.
This particular entry will be my documentation of my laser hair removal journey. I had my first treatment about eight weeks ago. I wish I would have taken pictures then, but it all happened on a whim. Here's how I remember it...
It was a cold night in February. I had just taken a nice hot shower, and shaved. A little history: my hair is thick and dark, and if I do not shave I poke everything, and it hurts. Not just what I poke, but me as well. Legs, armpits, chin, upper lip, girly bits, everywhere. Hair. Everywhere. I've been waxing my armpits and upper lip for about a year, but I simply cannot do my own legs. So anyway, after having my hair stick to my pajama pants and feel like it was being ripped out, I couldn't take it anymore. I digress, back to shaving. Nice new razor, shaving cream, going to make this all better right? Wrong. My razor has completely stopped cutting my hair. I try everything, but I still have spiky legs. Now I have razor burn, plus hair. Momma's pretty mad at this point. Then just like it was meant to happen, I get an e-mail from Ideal Image. 50% off sale! Woohoo!!
I call Ideal Image, and to my surprise they can get me in the same afternoon. Sweet! Let's do this! I have a few hours to kill, so I start doing some research so I kind of know what to expect. What did I find? Tons and tons of horrible reviews. Now I'm terrified. Am I going to spend a small fortune for nothing? Are they going to screw me over? Then I remember. Julie (my sister) had it done a few years back. I got a hold of her, and she shared with me her awesome results. Ok, panic attack over.
I show up for my appointment, incredibly nervous. I have several areas I want done, and not a lot of money. I don't really want to spend over $3000. Yes, that is a lot for hair removal. I know. My main areas were my upper lip, chin, pits and legs from the knee down. The sales person takes me down to one of the rooms and to my dismay, the first thing they tell me is that the hair on my lip is not dark enough for treatment. I'm devastated at this point. That is the number one area. I've been teased about it since seventh grade. The hair needs to go! I tell them I wax and that may be why they are unable to see enough hair. They tell me to stop waxing, and they'll look again at my next appointment. Wait. Next appointment? I haven't even signed up for anything yet! Ok, calm down...
Next to be looked at is my chin. "Oh yeah" she says "this is great!" Me: "great?" Her: "yes, this hair will do great with the laser." Then they look at my legs "oh my gosh, the laser is going to love you! You're the perfect candidate!" Yep, heard that before. That's what they told everyone with the bad reviews.
Back to the sales room. Here's the part I'm not looking forward to. Cost. For chin, legs (just above the knee to the ankle) and armpits $5000. Wow. Way more than I expected. And that's at 50% off. She tells me I am approved for 0% financing, and that they can do my first treatment immediately. I would leave the office smooth, she said. Here's where I surprise myself. I tell them ok.
Back to another room for treatment. First the chin. Not bad at all. I've seen it described as feeling like you're being snapped by a rubber band. I can't think of any other way to describe it, so we'll go with that. Next, armpits. Not pleasant, but not unbearable.
Legs. I cannot even begin to describe the pain. WAY worse than a rubber band. Like being burned all the way to the bone, and having someone slap you hundreds of times. AWFUL! She gave me a couple of stress balls, thank goodness. I developed hives all over my chest, and I'm sure my face was red. And I wasn't exactly smooth when it was over.
I get in the car as Paul (spousal unit) calls. "Did you do it?" He asks. I tell him yes. "How much was it?" (I really didn't want to tell him). "I really don't want to say." I say. "Just tell me! Was it the full $3000?" *sigh...I can't lie. It's just not in me. "It was $5000 and that doesn't include my lip." Wow is I think the word he used. "Are you mad?" I ask. "Not at all, as long as it doesn't interfere with the other things we want to buy." he says. (We really want a lake house). Ok, he really doesn't sound mad, but I honestly can't tell. He's probably not exactly happy with me, but he knows it's what I want, so he tries to be supportive.
Fast forward a week. LOTS of tiny white head pimples all over my chin. When popped (yes, I'm a popper. I can't help it) a tiny black hair comes out. They mentioned I would shed the hair follicle. That must have been what that was. Pits still pretty smooth. No complaints there. Legs....sigh. They are still spiky, plus now they itch worse than ever, and covered in bruises. Little circle bruises.
Fast forward to today. My chin hair has come back with a vengeance. I have to shave it a lot. At least every night, sometimes in the morning. It's SO hard not to pluck them out like I used to! Armpits, the hair is so fine and thinned out that I forget to shave it! But legs are what I am most excited about! You can still see my dark hair under my skin, but I shave MAYBE once a week. My legs feel so much better! My next appointment is in 1 week. Can not wait to see how great my results will be after treatment 2 (of 5)!
Main things I've learned.
1. Results are not going to happen quickly. They say be smooth by spring, but that really means next spring.
2. It's extremely painful. It just is. But it's worth it!
3. It is crucial to make your appointments and keep them in the window that they say. There is a guarantee, but that guarantee is null and void if you don't come in for treatments within that window.
I may have to use a numbing cream next time. I'll post how it goes.
